Psychological Non Epileptic Seizures
Northeast Regional Epilepsy Group

Poem written by someone living with PNES

This poem was written by a young adult living with the effects of Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and psychogenic non-epileptic seizures (PNES).  Through this poem she communicates to others what her experience is like.  Perhaps these words may resonate with you too.

ITS BLINKING
I SEE A BIG FLASH
IM MY HEAD
YOU FALL WITH A SPLASH
YOU COME SO UNEXPECTED
SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME FEEL PROTECTED
BUT I CAN GET FROM YOU PAIN
ALSO SATISFYING FEELING I GAIN
ITS VERY CONFUSING
MY OWN SELF I KEEP ABUSING
AND STILL I DONT KNOW
IF I SHOULD LET YOU STAY OR GO
YOU SOUND SO FAR BUT YET SO CLOSE
DAILY YOU TRY TO FEED ME YOUR DOSE
YOUR PRESENCE IN ME IS A SCARY TIME
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU WILL AFFECT THE DAY OF MINE
YOU CAN GO FROM ONE EXTREME
AND FROM PANICK SILENTLY I SCREAM
I GET MYSELF SO CONFORTABLE WITH YOU
I HAVE NO CHOICE
YOU STICK TO ME LIKE PERMANENT GLUE
IN MY BRAIN I SCREAM AND SHOUT
WHILE IM TRYING TO WASH YOU OUT
ITS HARD BUT ITS WORTH THE EFFORT
ONE DAY FROM PTSD I WONT ANYMORE GET HURT
YOU WILL BE ONLY HAPPY MOMENTS
AND I WILL HAVE NO MORE OPPONENT’S
I WILL BE STRONG AND FAST
IN ME
YOU WILL NEVER LAST
MY POWER WILL BE WITHIN
AND ILL FEEL SO GREAT
FINALLY THE BATTLE ILL WIN

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